my own medicine

Given that my last two posts have been, directly and indirectly, about silence, I probably should have seen this coming.

After talking a bit with my pastor and my parents, we all think it would be wise if I took a bit of a break from blogging to simply be silent, to ground myself in spiritual discipline and seek wisdom for the “next step,” whatever that ends up being. (I have my fingers crossed for becoming an international ping-pong superstar… time to proof-text Philippians 4:13 for motivation!)

Basically, I’ve felt for a while that the ground is eroding beneath me, so to speak. Bible-reading is slipping toward “sporadic-at-best” and I’m becoming increasingly incapable of simply sitting still and being with God. I had planned to “come out” publicly at the beginning of May, but such a move would be unhealthy; for all my excitement and passion, I can tell I stand on a very tenuous and fragile stability at the moment.

So. I’ll be taking a bit of a break. I have one more almost-finished post that I’ll put up this weekend and then I will promptly and metaphorically drop off the face of the planet (I superstitiously insert “metaphorically” whenever an idiom would, literally, kill me – can’t be too careful). I hope to reemerge some time in June, at which point, if it seems wise, I’ll set fire to my closet and not look back.

wolverine explosion

Like this, but cooler.

I also won’t be regularly checking GaySubtlety’s Twitter or Facebook for this time, though I will be checking email, so don’t hesitate to metaphorically shoot something my way. If you have any reading suggestions aside from Foster’s A Celebration of Discipline, I’d love to hear from you.

And, finally, I’d appreciate whatever prayer you’re willing to offer on my behalf. I want so badly to, you know, do this whole thing right… but my general proclivity to screw absolutely everything up will certainly loom large during this brief time.

Thanks so much for understanding and for being so patient with me as I struggle to discern what faithfulness looks like for me at this point in my life.

Peace and blessings to all of you.

Jordan

P.S. I really did only just learn how to embed photos… so… here’s a cute picture of a red panda.

One of the only good reasons to keep the internet around.

Adorable animal pictures are pretty much the only good reason to keep the internet around.

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7 thoughts on “my own medicine

  1. Jordon
    First, I want to say thanks again for your blog posts. You are very talented; and by sharing yourself so freely, you have moved me deeply. I have learned a great deal from your writing.

    Thank you for your vulnerability. It is a gift. I’m sure it can also be exhausting.

    You have my prayers as you enter this sort-of-sabbatical. Also, I know how unnerving the coming out process can be, I pray that God gives you peace, grace, and faith as you move through it.

    Love to you from the big apple.
    Ford

  2. Jordan–You are one of my favorite bloggers, and you will be missed. As for reading suggestions, I have been blessed by Kenneth Wuest’s “The New Testament: An Expanded Translation”. My copy is hardcover, much-loved, broken spine and all, but it is inexpensive in paperback on Amazon.com. Jesus is so much more in this Greek NT scholar’s words. Prayers and best wishes for this time of strengthening.

  3. I pray God will meet you and give you deep assurance of his love and grace. Thank you so much for this blog. Take it easy as you rest 🙂

  4. Jordan,

    Thanks for your transparency and thoughtfulness thus far! Bloggers like you and the many others who “straddle the middle” are a beacon of light for people surfing the blogosphere struggling with LGBT and/or Christianity. I know I’m definitely one of those people; reading silently, but gratefully. When I finally admitted my sexuality to myself it was spiritually overwhelming at LEAST, but I quickly found hope through the network of people like you who have been driven to speak out on behalf of their stories and their love of Christ.

    Let me also say it’s a clear sign of strength that you’ve made the choice to be sensitive to what you need right now. I pray that God blesses your journey in whatever way He sees best, and that He do it in a way that brings joy to your soul. While I do hope to see your thoughtful writing again, if God moves you in a holy direction that is not a return to here, well, that’s encouraging just as well.

    Peace and love,
    -mea

  5. Devotional Classics: Selected Readings for Inviduals and Groups. Edited by Richard J. Foster and James Bryan Smith (revised and expanded) or My Utmost for His Highest by Chambers. I’ve been doing the same thing btw. Really trying to focus on my time with God, I tend to spend all my time “doing ministry”. And I’m beginning to realize that I’m making it harder on myself by not having my quiet time with God come first. Good Luck with your break from writing, I pray you really connect with God in a new and deeper way 😀

  6. God bless you & keep you! Just wanted to say that there really is no way to do everything perfectly w/r/t coming out, or life in general, so try to remember that making mistakes or having to reassess =/= screwing everything up. Even really big mistakes can be channels for God’s grace in our lives.

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