no takebacks

Thanks for the prayers – I’m deeply humbled and grateful for the outpouring of love and intercession on my behalf.

Last night at 10:30PM (PST) I sat my family down and finally came out.

On my end it went well. From the moment I started talking until I went to bed I very distinctly felt stable, peaceful, and safe. God was unmistakably present. Even as the questions began coming, some of them very hard to hear, the divine calm was never shaken. Praise God for that. I am in awe, really, at how he met me in that time.

Out of respect for my family I won’t give too many details. They made it clear that they loved me and would never stop loving me. I have nothing to fear from them. Still, we have a lot of confusion and anxiety to work through. Questions about my salvation, about labels, about my future… they will have to be borne out in grace and answered through the torturously slow process of doing life together. It’s going to be harder than I had thought, honestly.

Today, in the aftermath, I just want a hug. I want to chat with dear friends over a latte and laugh about that one time... I don’t want to be alone. But I am, and emails and text messages will have to be sufficient for now. Well, emails and text messages and the blessed Spirit of God.

I serve a truly awesome Savior. And though last night wasn’t perfect, it was certainly good; the kind of good that demands nothing more than God be glorified in that moment. I have great hope and assurance that, in time, our memories of these few days will be defined by a joyful thankfulness.

Peace, friends, and thank you.

Jordan

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7 thoughts on “no takebacks

  1. Hi Jordan,

    I just want you to know that I’ve really grown to respect you and Tony more with each blog post that I read. I’m really impressed with both your intelligence and your willingness to be open about hard things, like this. It’s so encouraging to see you talk about how God has been with you through this, and even though I don’t know you, I’ll be praying for you.

  2. I just want to publicly say that, Jordan, I am so proud of you for what you did and for being faithful to what you thought God wanted you to do. I cannot have done what you did; I don’t have the courage right now. By no means will the journey with your family be easy, but hey, both of us know what it’s like to go through rough times and God has always been faithful to provide for us. I and many other of your friends are with you the whole way. Most importantly, God is with you and to Him be the glory for that!

    Doing this blog with you, without a doubt, has been one of the biggest blessings in my life thus far. We are blessed with how you’ve been faithful to the journey you’ve been on and will continue to be on.

    -Tony

  3. You are my new hero Jordan! Like Tony, I could not come out to my family. Not now, perhaps not ever. I have nowhere near enough courage.

    I hope you get that hug soon, but here’s a long distance one for you in the meantime.

    I second what Paul has to say about growing in respect for both you and Tony, and I second Tony in saying how proud I am of you for taking this huge step.

    As always, be blessed!

  4. I Second every good thing said! Great courage and nice, great heart.
    Sending you a virtual hug and of course my prayers.
    I hope the feeling of many people thinking and praying for you helps a little to cope with the moment.

  5. Whoa. Last night I did pretty much the same thing. I finally came out to my (only) brother and my (beloved) sister in-law. Of the adults in the family, it’s just my elder sister who I haven’t been completely candid with. We talked until 5 in the morning, and their response was amazing. I wasn’t much afraid because I had already let out some hints and figured they’d already figured it out. Boy, was I right. It wasn’t a revelation to them at all. They were completely understanding and supportive, even with how I don’t accept the label “gay” wholesale. Now if only I could get my parents past the point of knowing to the point of understanding.

  6. To God be the glory and the honor forever; I know he was delighted with the faith and love you demonstrated last night.
    I’m proud of you.

    If a hug is hard to find, maybe a massage would be a good thing to receive. Actually, they are always good to receive. Just sayin’.

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