housekeeping

Hey there!

A couple things:

1) We would (really really really) love it if some of you would email us and let us know what topics you would like us to talk about or explore. We want this to be a resource for people seeking to gain a deeper understanding of both what it’s like to be gay as well as how to love gay men and women of all convictions. So please feel free to ask us things! We will either respond to you privately or write a post about it.

2) So as you might have seen, we have rocketed ourselves into 2009 by creating a Twitter and Facebook page. We are still trying to figure out exactly what we want to do with them, but we were thinking of using them to share articles and resources and mind-blowingly inspirational quotes that we were reading. If that sounds helpful or interesting, please “follow” or “like” whichever one you want. Once we have a few people we’ll probably start doing whatever it is we will end up doing (how is that for an easily fulfillable promise!). Stay tuned! If y’all have any ideas, let us know.

It’s probably a little annoying by now, but we would really appreciate your help in spreading this around the internet. If you think this is something that people should read and interact with, then please share it on Facebook or Twitter. We have received a lot of encouraging feedback from people who just stumbled onto the blog because someone else posted it. We’ve heard from people who have never personally been close to someone who is gay (as far as they know) and want to become a resource of love in the future, friends and relatives of people who have just come out, gay men and women who are just excited to see this being talked about more, people who are only “out” to one person and wondering what to do next, and some people who disagree with us about our beliefs (which, by the way, is totally fine so long as it’s civil! We are open for discussion!).

The feedback has been really humbling for us, and we want to continue improving the blog, making it a legitimate resource that people of every kind can use in some encouraging way or another.

A huge problem within the evangelical community, at least, is the silence surrounding homosexuality and gay Christians. It’s a good thing to be willing to talk in love about the “subject,” but it is a far more important and overlooked thing to actively display openness and love and a desire to be a safe person.

There are a lot of harmful messages being thrown around, and it is important to fight against those through even louder declarations of love.

We have felt unbelievably loved by you all, and would greatly appreciate your help in letting other people like us find acceptance and hope and joy, too.

Thanks for putting up with my rambling! Have a blessed day.

Jordan (and Tony, of course)

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9 thoughts on “housekeeping

  1. I couldn’t find an email, but I do have one question for you two, I’d love to hear about: I assume you’ve seen Matthew Vines’ video? What did you think of it? I thought it pretty convincing, and I don’t even have a vested interest in it being right.

    • Hi Es, thanks for your comment! Our email is on the About Us page.

      Both Tony and I have seen Matt Vines’ video, and both of us were pretty unimpressed. We’ve both heard better arguments; he had some pretty serious theological flaws that really hindered his entire presentation. We are thinking of writing a longer post in response to the video, but that might be a bit in the future. I understand where he’s coming from, though, and it is obvious from his speech that he had thought long and hard about what he was saying. And he had a lot of good reminders that the Church should take to heart.

      But ultimately it boiled down to a tired rhetoric promoting a certain kind of equality rooted in post-enlightenment, self-determinative autonomy that isn’t quite the same as true Christian equality that requires total submission to the will of God (which I realize he would say he is doing).

      So I think there’s some valuable stuff in there, but as far as arguments go I’m not sure it reflected two years of rigorous study. He seems like a great guy though. I’d hope we could be friends.

      Jordan

      • I do agree with his point about how the point of Christianity is not to be happy. I feel like we often fall in to thinking this.

  2. I know that this could be taken as offensive, but I don’t mean it that way. Why do gay men sometimes have typically feminine charactaristics such as having a higher voice? Why can I see a man and know he is gay because of the way he acts? Just because someone is attracted to a man doesn’t seem to change someone’s voice tone or charactaristics/mannerisms. Just curious. I do realize that some gay men act very masculinely.

    • Hey Ryan! Sorry it took so long for me to get back to you.

      I’m sure there’s a super legit sociological/psychological study that’s been done on learned mannerisms and role-fulfillment within the lgbtq community, but I didn’t look hard enough to find it haha.

      From what I can tell after reading various forums and such (dangerous territory), it’s probably mostly imitated behavior. It can be a situation where behavior that has been used by bigoted people to make someone a target is now a source of pride and identity for those who have been socially abused, especially when they are in a homogenous group. There are maybe some bio-chemical things going on too (with the voice and such), but I imagine it’s a complex mix of social and psychological factors.

      Still, I feel that a vast majority of gay men and women do not at all embody the “queen” or “butch” persona at all.

      So, in conclusion: I have no idea. I am truly a wellspring of knowledge.

      Jordan

      • Thanks for attempting to answer my question. If you ever find out anything else, it would be interesting to hear.

        Ryan

  3. I am interested in the topic of Ryan’s question as well–that is, the feminization of gay male attributes. Why does this seem to happen more frequently than not?

  4. I like Jordan’s answer to Ryan’s wuestion, and I like the fact that the question was raised. One’s “masculine,: or “feminine” identity and one’s sexual orientation are not the same things. Though, inductively speaking, they fairly frequently seem to have a correlation, for whatever reason. But they are not the same thing.
    I think one of the sad effects of “queens” and “dykes” is that people with a heterosexual orientation may be afraid of their own true personality if they look upon it as effeminate or masculinated. For example, a man who is tender towards children, and likes them, may be afraid to care for children because he (perhaps wrongly) thinks men don’t do that. (I mention this example because I work in childcare. I’ve learned that many women are bad at caring for children, and many men are good.

    • It’s frustrating, right? It’s silly how we’ve made certain Christian virtues, like empathy and compassion, feminine and certain Christian virtues, like courage and leadership, masculine…when, in fact, they’re just Christian, and if we were really serious about everyone being “like Christ,” conformed into his image, we’d encourage all Christians to be all that Jesus was, and he *was* so much!

      I totally agree with you.

      Jordan

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